rough time, isn't it?

6:29:00 AM

Good Day Fellas..

Ugh... I know I know,
it's been a gazillion times since the last time I updated on my blog. And I couldn't agree for more, being scientist is literally sucking my time so bad, no joke. Believe it or not for these recent times I hardly ever get myself a chance to express of what i love, instead my brain, soul, and time have spent on some researches and study cases inside the laboratory. Say hello to the new cave man, people.

Since the second year already started things were pretty much changed, free time is a luxury to me. I mostly spend my time either for sleeping or reading a bunch of journals, but hey that's what students do, right?

At the beginning I felt like i had no direction to go, no friends, had difficulty on managing my own financial, no point at all for me to stand here any longer and truly it was quiet depressing. Do i wanna quit? FOR SURE I AM. But then some voices inside my head keep asking is it really worth the time if I start over the new thing? I don't know. it sounded as I hit the rock bottom of my life.

I am a 19 years old dreamless guy...

I've received so many thoughts from many people that it is okay for you to do your desire and pursue your dream, but there are few things i couldn't justify as it is. Perhaps i'm not even at the half of the journey and it's not too late to change direction, but i wanna make this happen at least i wanna finish what i started.

Honestly i used to think that i thought i was gonna be an editor in chief of the magazine or be a fashion industry insider. In fact, what I'm studying right now is way too far to reach that point. I even stop for shopping because nobody's gonna recognize that stuff, it's like a fashion juice cleanse. These whole things i called a 'lifestyle detox'.  

Recently i really have so many questions to ask, seek the untold answers, and find the true spirit of life. I am powerless yet keep moving. I once watched a movie that says "Life will show you its grace if you let them". I truly believe in anything i'm gonna through. Let the time answers it all. - Lazz. 

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